returning to the blog

It’s been almost a year since I last blogged. Ugh. I’ve been hesitant to share our life for the past two years since the whole being reported for neglect for Fent’s low weight. It’s taken me a while to “get over” it (although I suppose I’ll never FULLY be over it). Having a healthy 2-year-old helps.

So, my dear kids, I’m sorry that I have let that get in the way of writing down our memories. I don’t have Ki’s 7-year-old post or Ella’s 4-year-old post. Nothing about Fenton’s second birthday. No Ki-isms, Elle-isms or cute things Fenton said. Nothing about Paisley’s pregnancy. Aside from little tidbits on facebook and instagram, it’s unrecorded. We even lost our domain so links don’t work. Boo!

BUT that is going to change. Starting today. Today I get back to keeping track of our memories. Writing down the adorableness of my kiddos.

recent finds

I’ve had a few good library finds lately, so I thought I’d share.

Cinnamon Baby – I love the drawings in this book. They are so whimsical and awesome. It’s a sweet story. All 3 kids like it. (Fent’s been sitting on my lap looking at books while I read and loves it.)

Two Peas in a Pod – This book has the coolest, artsiest pictures. Ella LOVES this one. She keeps picking it to read. Ki’s sick of it. ūüėČ Elle even “reads” a little. I’m planning to see if the library has his other books.

Art & Max – This is a ¬†quirky little book, also with neat drawings. (Can you tell I’m a picture person?) Ki really likes this one.

Scaredy Cat – Ki and I found this book for Elle. She loves cats and says scaredy instead of scary. It was meant to be. It’s also one of Gramma’s favorite childrens’ authors. Cute book!

So hopefully that gets you going on your next little library adventure!

Healthy, happy baby

So yesterday we had a social worker show up at our apartment. I was reported for child abuse toward Fenton. She asked if I knew why. I was racking my brain and had NO clue. So she told me. Someone called Monday morning claiming the following:

  • Fenton has only gained 1 pound since birth.
  • He has never been seen by a doctor.
  • I don’t produce enough milk.
  • I refuse to supplement with formula.
My happy boy earlier that morning…

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So I just thought I would address those false claims here. But first, a video of my boys from this morning.

Fenton was 7lbs, 8 oz at birth. He dropped down to 6lbs, 13 oz (I think). When we went in for his 2 week check up (where he saw the midwife AGAIN) he was still not up to his birth weight. We had been using a shield and I guess I didn’t properly gauge how that impacts the amount of milk he was getting. I had no clue we had a problem. She suggested using a Supplemental Nursing System. It completely stressed me out. I decided to try to get him to gain without.

Throughout that week, I nursed more often and for longer periods of time, often waking him up as he was nursing. I also weighed him daily and could see he was gaining. She had a birth and we had to reschedule our appointment so it ended up being 2 weeks from our last appointment, at which point he was seen again by the midwife and a nurse. He had gained 15oz in 14 days. The midwife said that was perfect. She likes to see babies gain 1 oz/day.

A couple weeks ago, I noticed Fenton’s pupils were uneven and one didn’t react to light. I ended up taking him to the ER (it was late evening while we were hanging out and cluster feeding on, you know, my non-existent milk). He weighed 9lbs. Not giant, but still steadily gaining. And 1.5lbs up since birth 2 weeks before these false accusations were made.

He was looked over by an ER nurse, nurse practitioner (still in school) and an ER doctor. All commented on how cute he was and how perfect he looked. There was nothing wrong. (Sidenote, apparently the uneven pupils is common in up to 10% of the population and it may go away or may stay. Per the doctor that he has supposedly never seen.) The nurse even said she could give me the discharge sheet, but there was really no reason because all it said was he was healthy and nothing was wrong with him. She let me finish nursing and then we left.

Fenton has also had 3¬†chiropractor¬†appointments, along with attending some of my appointments (where he was seen, but not examined). Never any concerns. Additionally, my mom is a nurse at the hospital and I’m pretty positive she would say something to me if she was concerned about Fenton.

As far as supplementing with formula goes, not one person has ever told me to. The SNS was recommended, but I was supposed to pump and use MY BREASTMILK with it. Not formula. The Midwife was even pleased that I had gotten him to gain without using the SNS. I take that back. I guess she did mention formula, but specifically said NOT to use it.

As for my supply, I have never had a problem with it. I nursed my first two until 14 and 15 months with absolutely no issues. I can pump and get plenty of milk. (And I have no idea how anyone would know what my supply is like. Seriously.) He regularly sleeps 7 hours at night, wakes up, eats (but doesn’t drain me) and goes back to sleep.

He is still a bit behind from the first couple weeks of life where he was slow to gain. He is steadily gaining now, but just not gaining a ton of EXTRA to make up for it. But he is healthy.

So, long story short…

  • Fenton has gained over 1.5lbs since birth (not including the normal post birth weight drop).
  • He has been seen by our midwife and her nurse a handful of times (and has another appointment next week), the chiropractor 3 times, an ER nurse, nurse¬†practitioner¬†and doctor once and his Gramma who is a nurse many times. He hasn’t been to the local clinic to see a¬†pediatrician, but I’m not sure why that would matter or how anyone would even know that unless they searched his records. Not that going to that specific clinic is mandatory.
  • My supply is just fine. When the SNS was suggested, the midwife told me to pump 2oz and feed it to him every 2 hours. I pumped and had nearly 2oz on each side. (I¬†obviously¬†produce more than that now, as that was nearly 2 months ago.)
  • No health professional has ever recommended formula in any way, shape or form. So I’m not quite sure how I could reuse it…

All of this has left me with a lot of mixed emotions. When the social worker was here, I was shaking and nervous and scared. Would my baby get taken away over these ridiculous false accusations? Who the heck would do this? Obviously someone who does not know us well. If they did, you’d think they would know the truth, or at least talk to us with their concerns.

Then I was mad and felt like crying. I felt attacked. Like someone must have done it out of spite. I felt inadequate. I already struggle with feeling inadequate as a wife and mother. I really didn’t need someone telling me more things that I am inadequate at (even if it is not true).

I wanted to know who it was so I could set the record straight. I wanted to be able to shelter my children from whomever was making false claims about them. About my parenting and the health of my babies. Apparently I don’t get to know because abuse claims are kept anonymous.

I feel the need to prove myself. I kind of feel like pumping so much that my freezer is packed with milk, just to prove a point. But I know that would accomplish nothing and I have no way of even knowing that the reporter would see it and know that they were wrong.

I feel like calling them dumb and chewing them out. But I can’t. And that really wouldn’t be nice anyway. Coming from a typically very¬†non-confrontational¬†person, that’s saying a lot. For once, I really want to confront whomever did this to me. To us. My heart hurts.

As it stands now, the social worker will be checking into whether I was telling the truth about his midwife and ER visits. My older 2 kids have to see her next week to make sure I’m not abusing them. (They were out with their Gramma when she came.) Really, she should just weigh Ki and watch Ella eat. They are not starving! Ki is very proud that he weighs 56lbs now. He was chanting it a couple days ago. The social worker said they have 20 business days to close out the case, but she doesn’t see why it would take that long in our situation. He looked fine to her.

So I guess I wait. I want to be able to DO something. To resolve this mess. To confront someone. But I can’t. And it stinks. I still have a mess of emotions about it. I don’t know how you could go through this and not. I don’t plan on being around too many people or discussing Fenton with people (outside of a couple trusted friends and family members). I can only assume that it was someone at one of the 2 birthday parties we went to this weekend and that hurts. I don’t plan on letting my kids around the majority of those people again because I don’t know who did this.

I don’t really know what else to say on the matter. I guess if you have experience with this kind of stuff, input/experience would be welcome. For now I will just work on forgiving this unknown person and not dwelling on figuring it out or becoming bitter towards them.

notes on bike riding/walks

  • Don’t pick a route without any stops that will take longer than your average between pee times.
  • Make sure Ki goes to the bathroom before leaving. Otherwise he will want to pee off the bridge. With people around. And then amazingly not need to go when you get home. On second thought, I guess it doesn’t matter.
  • Ella needs to learn to ‘pedal’ her truck on her own so I don’t have to push or pull her.
  • A small bike constantly cutting me off and stopping in front of me does not make me happy.
  • Ki is getting very good ad keeping pace with us.
  • When we have a dog someday, if I’m walking it with headphones I will take them out when passing kids. We passed a couple college aged girls walking dogs and Ki was so sad and confused when he asked to pet them and they didn’t answer.
  • Dogs, motorcycles and airplanes and pretty much the coolest things ever (whether you’re 2 or 5).
  • We have gorgeous weather right now.
  • Ki picking flowers for his sister and her receiving them is stinkin’ adorable.
  • Stretch afterwards. Don’t forget.
  • We only pet 1 dog tonight. Last night it was 4.
  • Walks are much faster when I’m the only one walking.
  • Don’t take animal crackers on walks. Ki thinks he can hold 4 while riding, which makes him a wobbly rider.
Ki discovered a new trick on our way home this evening. He cracks me up. I love his little presentation at the beginning too. :)

Ki is getting to be such a good bike rider! On top of his mad skills, look what he’s working with…

The child is not genteel. And he REALLY needs new pedals. I should take care of that.

thoughts on today

  • I love love love it when something clicks in my babies minds. Ki did his math in record time today. He totally understood it, instead of just counting! (We are doing 9+ __. So we pretend that the 9 slurps up 1 from the other # and then it goes from 9+5 to 10+4. Then it’s easy to add. He can do it all in his head now! And he FINALLY got how easy #’s plus 10 are.)
  • Ella is truly the attitude police. The girl is not quite 22 months and can identify when someone is having a bad attitude, then calls them on it (whether it is appropriate for her to do so or not).
  • A new pencil sharpener for $1.19 was the highlight or Ki’s morning.
  • Ki is a nut from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep. This morning I was awoken by him shrieking and singing loudly. The rest of his family does not wake up so quickly…
  • My children are bottomless pits.
  • Not sure what Ella will do with herself when her Perry and Isabella tattoos from Troy are finally worn off.
  • Ella has been doing great with potty training this week! She stayed dry at Gramma’s during CC on Monday. Tuesday was not so great. Yesterday she stayed dry ALL day, including BSF and her nap. Woohoo! I’m expecting a bad day today though, because we seem to be batting every other day. She’s been having some diarrhea issues that cramp our style, but I’m hoping that is over since we had no poo yesterday. She keeps thinking she needs to, but can’t. So now that you know all about her bowel movements…
  • Ki is such a great big brother. He has been teaching her so much and is, for the most part, very sweet to her. Obviously he still has his big brother moments. ūüėČ I’m convinced that she talks as well as she does because he is such a chatter box and he makes her repeat things. They are becoming great friends. (And they’re really cute when they sit together and play their legos and duplos.)
  • School work is so much easier now that ki is reading well. He reads all of his own directions and story problems.